Inspiration

Today, the creative juices are flowing.  Imagine an avalanche, but with water instead of ice.  My mind's all over the place.  I've been using a notepad to jot down little scenes for different projects.  In the end, I know it'll be worth it.  Always is.  But right now I feel a little manic with the thought jumps.

I've finished all my word count goals, even wrapping up past ones, so now I'm devoting my time to polishing The Legacy.  Except Stars Collide wants to intrude.  The number of words I'm cutting is insane.  But I need to.  I hoped to wrap it up before the next Jambalaya Conference, which I might not be able to with all it needs.  After all, I have an agent willing to give me another try.  Have to make the deadline.

My biggest problem with writing is I don't have any beta readers.  I don't even have friends and family willing to read my writing and lie to me about its condition.  Well, I have one friend who's game, but I have to send it in a format he can put on his Nook.  Of course, as I write this, I realize I could search to see if the Nook opens .pdf.  And I might be able to ask my step-mom to take a look.  She liked some of my short stories.  Guess I have to ask if she's willing to read a novel – with the promise she can't just love it.

I always write for me first.  I've daydreamed about being a published author and living off that income.  When those two clash, I was left feeling okay if I'm never published in a large market.  I have so many completed novel and short story manuscripts.  As of May 2013, I'll have four short stories in print, plus a sample chapter.  I have accomplished something.  But now, after hitting 30, I'm driven more than ever to see a novel in print.  I'm trying to dissect how I feel.  All I'm left with is "Time is running out."  There's an urgency to publish I never experienced before.  Maybe, when I turn 45 or so, if I haven't made it into the traditional publishing arena, I'll just go with self-publishing.  Maybe.

I don't know what it all means, but I'll keep writing no matter what.  Ride the waves of inspiration until they break.  And love it the entire time.